i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
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The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
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She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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