Don't you send me to vm
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
