i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
