I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
