Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
