Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Boobs speak an international language.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
