bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
