my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
