Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
