The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
