Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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