How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
