I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
