Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize