The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
