Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
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His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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