hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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