Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
COCAINE IS GR8
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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