a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
