so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize