I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
