sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
