So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
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it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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