did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
