everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
