Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
