i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
