You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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