i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's blow job season.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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