Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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