gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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