apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
