I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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