You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
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as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
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You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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