At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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