I hate your face
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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