Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
