she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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