My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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