I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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