the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
