is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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