Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
