I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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