Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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