I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Enjoy the penises
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
