i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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