speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
