I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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