great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
