I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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