even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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