So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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