ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
