No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He has the fingertips of a God
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
