Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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