ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize