I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
