is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
