It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
