woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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