Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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