i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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