new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
